I saw on Facebook the other day an old friend of mine asking other women for tips on labor and delivery. It got me thinking about what I could not have lived without during my delivery and recovery. Michael and I signed up to take a birth and parenting class. The class was semi-helpful, but totally worth the $100...when they taught me this little nugget.
It's called the Undie Sundae, folks.
This gem is to sooth your aching lady bits after delivery...and trust me, they will be aching.
Your nurses can provide you with all of the necessary "toppings." You will need...
Sexy Mesh Underwear
(Unless you have a serious aversion to mesh underwear, I wouldn't wear your own because they WILL get ruined. I had a pair of Costco underwear that I hated more than anything in the world, and I designated them just for this purpose. I wanted them to die a horrible death.)
(The ultra-thick variety that they gave you in fourth grade. When you learned about about periods and arm-pit hair and stuff)
Witch Hazel Pads (Tucks)
(That's right, they're not just for hemorrhoids anymore. Trust me, it feels good.)
(This is a prescription steroidal foam that you can recieve in the hospital. It helped me with soreness and inflammation. Plus it causes a very...nice...warming sensation.)
Keep these things in your hospital bathroom, near the toilet.
When you use the restroom (which will be scary the first couple of times. Don't worry that's normal. Just wait until the first time you have to poop.) Use the perineal squirt bottle, do not wipe. I have a special place in my heart for that bottle. It saw me through some rough days.
Step One. (I am combining Step 1 and Step 2, because my computer is taking forever and Henry will be up soon.) Place the giant mattress pad in the mesh undies...on top of that stick the activated perineal ice pack. In the photo I substituted another pad in place of the ice pack.
Step 3. Place three Tucks Pads along the pad.
Step 4. Spray little dollops of Epifoam on top of the Tucks Pads.
Viola...that is the Undie Sundae. I would not have survived healing from a vaginal delivery without it.
I can say 12 weeks later, that my bits are back to normal and the reward for my pain was definitely worth it.
P.S. After describing to one of my non-mom friends the wonder of the Undie Sundae, she suffered a particularly nasty bikini wax.
Bam... Undie Sundae to the rescue.
June 2018 Update
Hey you lovely pregnant person! If you want to see my current shenanigans you NEED to check out my Youtube channel! You get to witness my general misbehavior live and in person. If that doesn't scare you I don't know what will. My channel focuses on daily planning and different memory keeping ideas. There are a lot of memories coming your way in the form of that little fetus you are currently toting around, so come check it out! And in keeping with my personality there is a healthy dose of sarcasm and maybe some swearing involved. So maybe wear headphones?
Please hang out and subscribe while you're there (there is also a handy subscribe button in the sidebar of this post. Push it. I dare you.) I'll be forever grateful. Thank you, you hot mama, you.