Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Cheap Labor

Kids are expensive.

Really expensive.

For most of us, these are frugal times we're living in.  So you have to make do with what you've got.  If these are not frugal times for you, then go away.

We're not friends.

I've compiled a little list of ways we save money around heres.  So maybe you can make some of these ideas work for you. 

Here goes nothin'.

1.  Henry loves dirt.

Parks are full of free dirt.

A word of caution:  Choose your park wisely.

If you pick the wrong park you could end up dodging used needles and Hand, Foot and Mouth Disease. 

OR

500 SAHMs who all seem to miraculously know each other, and have matching Kate Spade diaper bags. 

For this mom, who 97 percent of the time wears what Michael calls my "Lesbian shorts" and Old Navy flip-flops, the latter situation tends to be kind of awkward. 

Between a rock and hard place, I'd pick the used needles any day. 

2.  Instead of spending good money on play equipment that may just be a passing phase, try being creative.

Henry loves the sandbox...

At home we have the "Mulch Box."


I realize it looks suspiciously like landscaping. 

What's your point?

3.  Start a garden.



And then have your child attempt to sell the produce to your neighbors.


There he goes, I told him not to take less than $3.00 for that green pepper.


It's organic.

**This is actually not representative of our garden at all

It was really just 500 zucchinis.

4.  Take your child to the Children's Museum.

$7.00 admission may seem a little steep, but I believe the future job training is priceless.



A career in the food service industry isn't my ultimate dream for Henry, but at this point at least he'll have something to fall back on.

5.  Reuse baby clothes.


If you are going to leave the house with Baby Girl in a hand-me-down ensemble, be sure to employ the extra large bedazzled head flower. 

It eliminates any awkward exchanges with grocery store checkers/store clerks/gas station attendants.

She's a girl.  See the flower.

P.S.  I never know if I should correct someone in that situation or just let it go to avoid the weirdness.  I usually just let it go, but I'm starting to worry that Addie may be getting confused. 

Oh well, maybe she'll play in the WNBA.  

And I can give her my shorts. 

6.  Don't buy anything nice.

That is a great way to save money.

I guarantee it will get broken, stained, spit up, vomited, peed or colored on.

Just like the only piece of furniture in our entire house that isn't a used hand me down.

The ONLY one we actually picked out.  And spent money on.

Enter Henry's first bout with the stomach flu. 

7.   Don't hire someone to clean your house. 

Make your children do it.

At two, Henry is great at following simple directions:

"Pick up your trucks."
"Bring me a diaper."
"Rub mommy's back."



Before you start reciting child labor laws, I'll have you know it's a learning game.

Me:  "Henry, what color is the broom?"

Henry: "BLUE!"

Me:  "Close, but not quite Love Bug, that's yellow."


Me:  "Henry, what color are the wipes?"

Henry:  "BLUE!"

Me:  "Sweet Pea, that's orange, but good try."


Me:  "Henry, what color is in the potty?"

Henry:  "GREEN!"

Seriously.

I thought he had that one in the bag.

P.P.S.  I don't know what the lighting did, but my toilet isn't that gross in real life.  I promise.

Henry cleans it twice a day.

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