Last Day

Today is my last day of maternity leave. 

Please excuse me while I wipe away some tears.

Tomorrow I return to work.  Eeeek.  Work is stressful, busy and sometimes scary.  Being a nurse isn't easy...we don't sit around at the front desk and eat bon bons with our legs propped up.  We don't take cig breaks every 20 minutes.  I'm not sure where these myths came from, but that is what they are...highly mythical myths.  It is going to really stink not having Sunday and Monday with my boys anymore, but this way we don't have to use daycare for Little Man yet, and I get to be home with him for most of the week.  Michael and Henry get to have man-time on Sunday and Monday.  We'll see what kind of trouble they get into. 

I can't believe 12 weeks has gone by since Henry arrived.  That is simply unbelievable. 

It got me thinking though, now that my official maternity leave is over does that mean we are supposed to have everything figured out?  Isn't that what maternity leave is for?  Get to know your baby, figure out how to mother him or her.  I am. Not. There. Yet. 

Is my body supposed to be back to normal (as Us Weekly would have me believe)?  Because there is definitely some really...meaty...sections around the sides that I didn't used to be able to grab and smoosh around so easily. 

Can I not blame my forgetfullness on 'baby brain' anymore?  Now, that is a real bummer.

Can I not blame my sometimes overly emotional state on having 'just' had a baby.  Double bummer.

As we took our trip to Babies R Us to pick up the Bumbo a few days ago, we were listening to the radio.  This is actually kind of unusual because many times I just forget to turn on the radio (Michael can not understand this).  The silence just doesn't bother me...I actually kind of enjoy it.  Sometimes Henry and I just talk.  Well I talk, he usually just listens.  I have all this...stuff...just swirling around in my brain.  Good thing I started the blog right.

Heartland's, 'I loved her first.'

Holy Lord. Cue me, driving down the street.  Balling my eyes out.  And I don't even have a little girl, and I'm not a father! It just made me think about my dad.  Surely, that is not allowed now that maternity leave is over with. 

I just want to say thank you to the old man in the truck that pulled up beside me at the stop light and looked over at me, very concerned.  I had to give him this pathetic, 'don't worry! I'm fine!' wave.  Embarrassing. 

So if you ever see a woman driving down the street...crying...check in back to see if there's a car seat.  She may have 'just' had a baby...3 monthes ago.