Saturday, December 4, 2010

Baby Back-Fat

Momma has got some serious love handles.  They are not cute.

I'm going to talk about baby weight.  You think I won't go there.  Ohhh, my darlings, I'm going there. 

I gained 30 pounds with Henny Penny.  I am convinced it would have been about 50 had I not felt like an exhausted, flu-ridden, shadow of myself for 4 months.  Because when I started to eat...I ate.  And ate.

Once I was eating lunch in the break room at work and the 'maintanence specialist' on our unit asked me if I left anything in the salad bar?  Well...A-Hole.  I am eating a gigantic salad because I am starving and growing a human inside my body.  The look I gave him could have melted paint off the walls.  If you are a man and reading this...It is NOT okay to comment on the size of a woman's meal.  Especially if she is pregnant.  He's lucky I didn't have a pair of Hemostat clamps in my pocket.

He'd be less a pair of balls right about now. 

Trying to get rid of the last baby weight has been a bit of a struggle.  After Henry was born the number on the scale just kept was great. Everyday was another pound gone. stopped.

Dead in its tracks.

I think I was about 24 weeks pregnant when I got out of the shower one evening and really looked in the mirror.  I ran screaming down the stairs in my underwear. Michael was playing X-Box and he looked up, panicked.

"What's wrong!"  Thinking something was wrong with the baby.

"Look at my thighs....!!!"  It looked as if I was attempting to smuggle bean bags in my inner thighs. 

Well... the baby is gone, and the thighs are not.

At some point I will have to admit that the muffin-top and squishy thighs are not because I had a baby 3 months ago.  They are the result of zero self control and guacamole for dinner...

That is a tough pill to swallow. 

In happier news, Henry is napping.

Praise sweet Jesus.


  1. Ok, this is ridiculous Emily! You looked absolutely amazing when I saw you the other day. This is nonsense. How much are you trying to lose? Surely you're within a couple of lbs from pre-Henry weight right? I keep telling everyone you look so skinny. I'm just saying, give yourself an ounce of credit. Love...

  2. Quit being so hard on yourself! I'm still trying to lose that last 10 baby pounds. It's only been 27 months, I mean years...


  3. The pounds might eventually come off, but the body shape is forever changed...cue "mom jeans"