Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Chilean Miners

Okay, so I'm actually very embarrassed about what I'm about to tell you.

I know you're thinking, more embarrassed than talking about vaginal tearing? Pumping milk out of your breasts? Gaining mom weight and outgrowing all your jeans?  That's right.  I have no problem talking about any of that.  Or post-baby boobs.  Ewww.  Small and saggy anyone?  Double whammy.

I don't watch the news.  I don't read newspapers.  I never go to CNN.com.  I don't know what's happening in the world.  If it's not on Perez Hilton...I don't know about it. 

My secret is out.  I'm mortified.  I am the ignorant stupid American that everyone despises.  When Michael mentioned something about the miners being rescued a few months back...my response was (get this...)

"What miners? What are you talking about!?"  YES, REALLY.

How long was that story in the news? Months upon months.  I had no idea...

I can't even believe I am sharing this, its so bad.  You are totally allowed to not be my friend anymore.

So, I've decided I want to be informed.  On the real issues I mean.  Not whether Mariah Carey is having twins, not whether Jessica Simpson got engaged just to keep up with Nick, not on all the Teen Mom domestic abuse drama or the latest boots Kim Kardashian is wearing.  This is going to be my ultimate challenge...my magnum opus (I had to ask Michael what that meant, while he was reading his biography on Hadrian...some Roman emperor or some such thing).  I know you're wondering how he ended up marrying me; I ask myself the same question on a daily basis. 

My New Year's Resolution is to not be a current events numb-skull any longer.

I also want to lose 10 pounds.

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