Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Breakfast Sausage

I really could've gone for this on this dark, cold morning...

Instead, I got this...

Diaper Sausage.

Which was the result of this face...

("Quit taking pictures mom...I'm dropping off some lumber.")

Uggh.  The last dirty diaper that I could cram into the Genie.  Usually I strategically stuff it until Michael is around to empty it.  Not this AM.  This time it had to be done and I was the only one around to do it. 

Now, I can change a stranger's colostomy bag until the cows come home...but something about the diaper sausage totally grosses me out.  Specifically the weird condensation that forms on the inside of the blue baggie. It always gets on my hand when I am tying it up and I just can't handle it.  The actual poop doesn't gross me out as much as the moisture formed by the warm poop in the baggie.  Call me crazy.

Now that I have posted a picture of my son pooping, I will even it out with a picture of him giggling.  That's the thing about motherhood.  You are completely grossed out one minute and completely blissed out the next.  Who knew?

P.S. Why has no one ever told me I have such a big beak!?

On a completely unrelated note:

I know it is normal to lose a bunch of hair after you give birth, but really? 

Whenever I get out of the shower I am caught off guard when I look down, and for a moment think there is a gerbil crawling out of the drain.  Then I realize it's just all the hair that fell out of my head.  I mean it is A LOT.  It didn't fall out right after I had Henry; naturally because then I would have been prepared.  It started coming out this past week.  I'm not so sure this is normal.  Could it be some kind of postpartum alopecia!?

I hope not...I don't think I could pull off a wig very well.

Hmm...Scratch that.  I think I could rock the heck out of this one...

Or this one...

I always wondered what it would be like to have the hair of a TV news anchor.  Never moving.

I didn't realize both of my selections were blond...maybe my inner self is a blondie; just waiting to make her grand debut.  Watch out!

Not only is the hair loss bad for me, but Michael has to suffer through it too.

When I am in the shower and realize the water is puddling around my feet because of the drain gerbil I fish it out and smack it on the shower wall...doesn't everyone? 

With the FULL intention of getting it with a Kleenex and throwing it in the trash when I hop out...

Well I always sort of forget that last step.

So then Michael gets in and comes face to face with the dried up hair gerbil.  Poised in mid-scurry half way up the shower wall.

Eeeeek.  Mom fail.

I guess this is pay back for the trash can hair-rat Michael always leaves me when he shaves his head, and throws the big clump away.  Scares me every time.

I bet you don't want to come live with us do you?  Hair balls everywhere.

Ohh I hear Fatty horking something up as I type this...he must have one too. 

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